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HEALTH AND SAFETY - CANCER
Cancer: Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
People with cancer experience a range of emotions that, at best, test their psychological stamina and, at worst, paralyze them with fear. Although the intensity of these emotions may tempt you to avoid them, recognizing and acknowledging your feelings can help you develop healthy responses to the challenging life circumstances that come with a cancer diagnosis.
The psychological aspects of cancer can become as debilitating as the physical aspects. Learning how to cope with sometimes overwhelming emotions can take extraordinary courage and require the support of friends, family and, at times, trained therapists. Although it is impossible to come up with a definitive list of all the emotions people with cancer face over the length of their illness, psychologists have identified some feelings as common among many people living with cancer. These include:
Fear
People with cancer often report fear as the first and most overwhelming response their diagnosis. Although additional information about the nature of their specific cancers and explanations of promising treatment options may calm some fears, most people with cancer must learn to cope daily with a newfound fear of the unknown. If these fears begin to paralyze you and prevent you from functioning in daily life, trained therapists can teach you skills to help you learn to live one day at a time.
Guilt
Many people with cancer feel guilty for getting ill, and they spend hours trying to trace their illness to "bad" behaviors such as poor diet, tobacco use or high stress. They also may feel guilty for the strain their illness causes their loved ones, especially their spouse or partner. Remind yourself that no one consciously chooses to get cancer-and that you're not to blame for your illness.
Anger
People with cancer may immediately react to their diagnosis with anger, or it may build up over time and cause them to lash out unexpectedly. Because they have no "perpetrator" at whom to direct their anger, people with cancer may seek other targets, such as the doctors who diagnosed them or the friends and family members unable to help them. They also may turn their anger on themselves, lamenting their loss of control over their bodies. Unresolved anger can lead to grief and self-pity, and should be addressed by a professional counselor. Therapists can help you work through your anger, channeling it into positive energy you can use to fight your illness.
Grief
People with cancer may grieve for themselves as they absorb the reality of their diagnosis. If operations have left them disfigured or treatments have left them without energy, they may grieve for their inability to pursue the activities they once enjoyed. They also may grieve for what has not occurred, lamenting the pain their loved ones will feel if they lose their battle with cancer.
Isolation
People with cancer may feel isolated by their illness. Surrounded by healthier family and friends, they may retreat into themselves emotionally and socially. Their sense of being different from everyone else can lead them to believe that others cannot possibly understand what they are going through. These people may benefit from group therapy, where they can form new social bonds and talk to other people with cancer who are experiencing similar feelings.
Loss of self-image
Living with cancer often leaves physical scars. Mastectomies, amputations, loss of body hair and weight changes can make people with cancer feel unattractive and unlovable. They may feel alienated from their own bodies and need reaffirmation of their physical sense of self, including their sexuality. Spouses or partners may need guidance to accommodate to changes in their partner's bodies. Trained therapists can help couples address these issues.
Remember that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel when struggling with the psychological challenges that cancer can present. Acknowledging your feelings as valid, and knowing when to get help are the first steps toward gaining control over what can sometimes seem like a roller coaster of emotions.
Sources: Beyond Miracles: Living With Cancer by Stephen P. Hersh, MD. Contemporary Books, 1998; Cancer: Increasing Your Odds for Survival by David Bognar. Hunter House, 1998.
By Barbara A. Gabriel
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